Under Control

I'm proud to say that I hail from a place where I wake up in the morning at the sound of a street fight between an Auto driver and a Rickshaw-wallah. The street is one-way - that is, it has enough space for only one way and both of them are stubborn and not willing to make way for the other. The abusive argument usually comes to an end in the blink of an eye, when a trail of vehicles are lined up on either side, braying loud horns. The Rickshaw-wallah gives up, looking at the school-kids and office-goers with morning blues. He pulls the Rickshaw back, how he manages to do so with the bare minimum space available, I wonder, looking at the scene from my bedroom window on the first floor, overlooking the street. Almost always, he would hit his vehicle against some vehicle in the process, to vent out his frustration,which is the funniest part of it all. 

Some mornings, I would wake up to mooings and bleatings. The milk-man (who delivers milk) of our street does not have enough space to tether his cows and leaves them to destiny- to my mom - the Annapoorani (Goddess of Nourishment) of the street - she always has something for all-- even a cow. Our house had an array of cows, neatly seated in the front, blocking the only way in the street. I remember standing and waiting on several days with my sister after school, waiting for the cows to make way for us into the house. That was much less drastic than the huge traffic that built just outside my house, a string of abuses at the 'milk-man' and humble requests to my mom not to feed the cows. Again, the funniest part of it all - my granny screaming at the top of her voice at my mom, citing instances from her life history, of zero correlation with the situation at hand.

I'm proud to have a mom and dad who take up so many responsibilities at the same time, that they are rarely ahead of time in attending any scheduled event. We would be flooded with harried phone-calls from the organizers and spend the travel-time in blaming and making fun of each other for the delay. Numerous are the times when my mom, my sis and I would run to the bus-stop, to board the school-bus in the morning. The bus driver, cheeky to the core, seeing us from the corner of his eye, would pretend not to have noticed us and would just take away, leaving my mom cursing at him quietly. My sis and I would be on a high inside, trying hard to look sorrowfully at our mom. We would joyfully enjoy a Royal auto-ride to school, only after severe scoldings and warnings from mom that that would be the last ever auto-ride to school and that we would have to get ready earlier from the next day onwards. Giggles would follow, when the auto reached a safe distance away from my mom.

Power shut-downs or noisy loudspeakers on the street blaring devotional TMS songs or a bunch of gossipping relatives on a visit to home or the naughty cousin to baby-sit when his parents were out of town or the distracted phone-calls from frantic classmates --- an exam to prepare for amidst all the hullabaloo......

Dear Room-mates in Singapore, now you know why I never respect the Alarm clock. I yearn for the noise on the street to hit at me, right in the head. I am most tempted to walk to the middle of the AYE road and create a traffic diversion. I want to see more wild-life on the run. It's embarrassment to the core to walk into an appointment almost on time, only to find my superior waiting for me, for several minutes patiently. I don't want that bus driver to stop the bus at the stop for eternity, on seeing someone gesture to him to wait,a kilometre away, through the rear-view mirror. I want to miss this bus and curse myself for being late. I want trouble to tackle.

 'Control freaks!!' is how I scream when I'm totally bored and not able to take a bit more of the ordered and disciplined ways. I could feel my 'adrenaline gene' dying away - I fervently hope it's just on a hibernation and is going to be on the run again when I'm back home. 

Madrasapattinam

I felt this movie deserves a blog post cos it is - different for Tamil cinema. I'd urge you to watch it in theatre and revel that there are our people who believe in making an impact with sincere,brave and out-of-the-box film-making attitude.

The movie does have all the usual 'masala'  elements - love, heroism, patriotism.... But it also has done a lot of justice to being called a 'period' movie, which is not an easy task. The animation looks so out of place more than once. But the cinematography pulls you into that era a lot other times. The heroine (Miss.Teen World, Amy Jackson) is cuteness personified - did they really wear such short dresses back then? Nobody in the theatre seemed to mind it though.. ;) I was impressed that she got her expressions right despite it being her first movie.

I liked the way the comedy element blended in smoothly with the story - the natives' English, Haneefa's (May his soul RIP) antics, the sleeping guy, the teacher, the 'bomb scare' guy.... And the unintentionally comic Tamil dialogues of the British actors which left me and my sister giggling at the wrong places. Those scenes lack but need subtitles more than the scenes with English dialogues.

Arya rocked! - His understated expressions do their job. His gymnastic abilities (check out the last few scenes of 'Pookkal pookum' song) are proof enough for his hard work and dedication to the role. The timing of his expression change on seeing the heroine in the scene at the Railway station towards the end, seemed to strike a chord in me. Or it might simply be that I like Arya. ;)

G.V.Prakash has done a highly commendable job, given his age and experience level. 'Pookkal pookkum' song still holds me in a mesmer. The bgm adds the desired effect to the movie. I got nothing to say against the song videos too - 'Vaamma Durayamma' is a fine video. Except for Udit Narayan's irritating accent. Amy is stunning in 'Aaruyire'.

Though the movie reminded me often of Titanic and Lagaan....
Though Arya and Amy's costumes were not really perfect for the setting...
Though I felt that there should have been more difference in the ways of speech of both the eras....
Though the screenplay needs a lot more pruning....
Though there could have been lesser 'masala'....

I still LIKED Madrasapatnam. Such efforts need to be lauded.

Kids, Parents and the rest of us

I am addicted to a South Indian television show which is a competition to choose the best singer from amongst kids of age 6 to 14 years.

I rarely get emotionally involved in movies or games or performances. It takes a lot more than mere talent to do that to me. To my amusement,  I find myself smiling wide and laughing and crying and cheering with the Show, the past 8 to 9 months. Why and how? Having successfully  found reasons to postpone work so far, this time I took up this question to muse upon and further procrastinate.

I'm not interested in what the Show highlights - the mind-blowing musical talent and what kids of such a young age are capable of. Of course I have discovered countless songs and added them to my favorites, after hearing the kids render them, which I would have never done otherwise. But that is not reason enough to make me subject to strong states of emotions.

What is it then?--- That makes me glued in front of the screen and madly devour episode after episode, ignoring the countless deadlines at hand.

From singing alone to themselves or to loving parents or in front of an admiring audience at school, these kids are suddenly raised to a tall platform and the eyes of the whole world are upon them. They are judged by great singers. They meet and perform in front of singers who can make the world rise and dance or fall at their feet in a trance. The kids find themselves in a spotlight that would have featured only in the wildest dreams of any human being. That tension is enough to make anyone go speechless, leave alone giving their best performance. Overcome that hurdle and perform, only to find that it is not easy to convince others of your ability. Find yourself staggering under feedback and suggestions to improve from all directions. Discover that whatever you have been doing so far is not so right and needs to be changed and that, in less than a week's time.

Pressure on kids implies pressure of magnitude several times higher, on their parents. Some find it forced upon them, against their will and some take it up willingly and happily for their kids. Some handle the pressure rightly and motivate their kids positively while the others fail to do so, their failure having a direct effect on their kid's performance. Whatever it is, there is no time to regret and go back to correct a mistake. It is a do-or-die. Only the right combination at the right time could crack through the layers of the contest. The others are dropped out and bid a better luck for the next time-- they need to wait longer or forever to get their moment of recognition again ( for opportunity to knock on their door again).

People criticize when you are wrong - to watch how you handle the negative feedback and the embarrassing moments of failure in front of an audience - if you make a comeback or if you wither away. People also wait and watch how you handle the popularity - if it gets to your head or if you take it in your stride and never falter from giving your best. By people I mean not only the judges who do have the constraint of having to judge the kids solely based on their talent, but also the common viewers who vote to choose the winner at the crucial stages of the contest.

Despite all these pressures, it is inspiring to find glorious butterflies emerge from shy, unnoticed caterpillars.

I cheer for the shy kid with the beautiful voice - who in the initial rounds had curving shoulders, the terrified look on her face wishing that she had never come, the downcast look when she kept getting suggestions to improve ,whatever she tried - I find her now, with an amazing voice that commands your attention, she experiments several new genres that need a lot of confidence and in her last performance, she even danced along with the groove of her singing, of course all the shyness coming back to her at the end of the song.

I cheer for the kid who looks simple, down-to-earth and out-of-place on that glamorous stage and setting - he hails from a village and has had no previous training in music - he impresses the judges with his talent and soulful voice, ringing clear - conveying an innocence and the depth of knowledge that no amount of training could have given.

I cheer for the kid with the laryngitis initially - the worst thing to happen to a singer - now taking up highly difficult songs and rendering them perfectly with a voice, brought back to normal after a lot of training and lung exercises.

There are several talented kids who have come out of whatever box they were in, taking the audience by surprise, proving that they deserve the attention, becoming more and more versatile day by day.

I feel sorry for the kids who have enormous talent but yielded to the pressure and failed to make it far in the contest. I wish they find happiness in whatever they choose to do next with their lives.

I cheer for the youngest kid in the show, pressured to excel by his dad. He looks at his dad every now and then during the performance - he looks up to his dad and works hard to please him, rather than trying to please the judges. The kid is a prodigy capable of huge victories, if guided rightly. I hope and pray that his natural talent does not get suppressed by his dad's over-expectations.

And what do I cry for? :-D ---At the look on the parents' faces hearing the praises showered on their kids, not able to believe how their little kid has transformed their lives so drastically, taking them to places, being appreciated by important people, being supported and raised to the skies by unknown people. Priceless! The parents were able to handle all pressures and still motivate their little kid positively and hence they deserve the adulation too, undoubtedly.

The answer to my question... I get emotional because it takes more than mere talent for kids (unlike grown-ups) to attain such huge victories. They depend enormously on family for support and it does enthrall the mind to see a winning combo of a family. Especially when I am so far away from home.... :D There it comes--- the reason behind all my recent posts.

Sitting down

:-D What is it this time?? A whole post on 'sitting down'?? What will a year-old grad student write about 'sitting down'?? For one who has to spend more time with the Computer, it would probably be about dealing with Hemorrhoids.... Well, er... you got a dozen websites on that....

What is it then?? Taking up from one of my posts called 'Adrift'..... Today was like a sequel to that day... Even worse! :D.... Only a responsibility that was due last week and could no longer be put off (they'd slice my throat!), pulled me out of the bed(couch) - in the afternoon! Peak of laziness in the week after the finals (not that I slogged through the finals, but still it's the week after the finals!) - it seems to take me a lot of time to 'recover' ( from nothing, actually - but please, let me!).....  After the job was done, I had 'planned' to bring myself to work on my project..... It would have been very unlikely of me if I had stuck to the 'plan' -I was feeling gloomy how novels used to be such an integral part of my life a few years back and how I miss finding one that could keep me engrossed for hours... Minutes later, I was 'sitting down' at a seminar hall, for a panel discussion on 'Mental toughness'. I felt like a mental - why do I keep attending such lectures?? The doubts about my sanity vanished when the hall got jam-packed, myself being one of the lucky few early birds who got a seat to 'sit down'...

Apparently the 'panel' consisted of  Marvin Lee Minsky (Inventor: Confocal Microscope), David Goggins ( Toughest nut to crack, in short. Check out his biography - from his childhood),Lieutenant Commander Eric Potterat (Ph.D., a Naval Special Warfare Command psychologist) and a couple of others from the US Navy SEALs. uhm... I should have probably come a tiny bit prepared for this. I bet I was the only one in there with mouth-wide-open at the introductions....
I'm not going to bore myself or you with everything that they talked about... I just want to record whatever I loved there....

The Faculty who did the intros (red jacket) : " If you are in MIT, you must be mentally tough "   (..... or learning to be that)

Eric Potterat (the one in the middle) : He spoke about the training for the SEALs which is totally high-end, inhumane, but serves its purpose - to select the toughest ones out there and train them to endure even more. The reason why selection is so crucial is that even if one person sat down tired during the operation, it would spell out catastrophe for the entire team. The fifth week of training is called the 'Hell week' with  non-stop training with close to no sleep at all. Each day is filled with 5 hours of drills in water, 3 hours of P.T., 6 hours of running with a rubber boat on the head, 2 hours of paddling and so on.... NON STOP training! And the sign for quitting is a brass bell that hangs in a prominent place - so the keyword is MENTAL toughness, more than physical toughness.

David Goggins(at the rightmost end) : Single,divorced parents; Single black kid in school; A rat-infested 7$-rent house; First one to discover step-dad's murdered body in the garage; School drop-out; Worker in a pesticide-spray company (Heads up from David: DON'T eat at the 'Red Lobster'); Lost weight from 295 to 190 pounds in 59 days to join the SEALs; Hadn't so much as dipped his toe into the pool until learning to swim the hard way at the SEALs' training; Sickle cell anaemia;a hole in the heart; Without having run a single marathon in his life, he volunteered to run an 130-mile race - shed more pounds in a couple of days to qualify for that - DID THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HIS LIFE - SITTING DOWN AFTER 100 miles - couldn't stand up, but wanted to urinate - asked his wife near him if she loved him, to help him - he pissed blood, kidney failure- wife,being a nurse, fed him, walked a couple of miles with him- something happened inside his head- he started running again and finished the race in under 24 hours; Well the story continues till him being what he is now -- and sharing it with an audience at MIT.

David talked about 'one second decisions' where he makes up his mind in one second to think it through and set his goal. One second is all it takes.... He keeps putting himself under new pressures and difficulties cos that is really when he finds out who he really is, under all those artificial layers - whether he can get through it or if he is going to cry for help and give up. There is no finish line. It doesn't stop. We all do something that sucks every day. He doesn't enjoy running. He just focuses on putting each foot ahead of the other. Keep touching the spot that hurts the most, till you become immune to the pain - till you no longer have any emotional attachment to it.


Marvin Lee Minsky (second from left):

Marvin : "How long does it take to drive the unicycle?"
Friend: " 15 minutes"
Marvin : " That's awesome!"
Friend: " Well, it takes 3 weeks to accumulate those 15 minutes"

Marvin quoted a lot from his book 'The Emotion Machine'. So read that if you want to know more - take my word, the excerpts which he shared were brilliant.

The book 'Lone Survivor...' kept getting mentioned often--- the characters in that book being close buddies of David.

I got books to read!

And well, the title is about the conclusion that I have drawn today (Get ready for another Pearl of wisdom :P) - " It's not totally wrong to sit down. Just make sure you sit down at the right time, near the right people and DON'T forget to stand up and get going again!"

Ha ha, I love MIT!!!  :) :) :)

Happy Mother's day

I never tell my mom ---
Her love and care keep me charged up miles apart.


I feel her presence--
Every time I try to be tolerant like her; 
Every time I eat the pickles that she made and sent with me;
Every time I use her hand-made spice powders that somehow,as if by magic recreate the aroma and taste of her cooking; 
Every time I look at the mirror; 
Every time I look at the little pics of God that she has stuffed wherever there is space in my baggage...:D ; 
Every time I try to do the little things that make her happy;
Every time I realize what a lot of qualities she has passed on to me.... :D


Love you, ma.

Adrift

Get up at 9 am finally after 3 hours of staring at the view outside the window.

Clean the week-old-fungi-clogged kitchen sink - valiant efforts for an hour.

Laze on the couch for 3 hours in the Students' lounge, attempts to read a paper sadly going in vain.

An hour-long Kiran Mazumdar Shaw lecture brightening up the day considerably.

Play for an hour in the pool. Day looks even brighter.

A 3 hour-discussion on 'Searching the meaning of life through Science' at the mit religious activities centre.

Back to square one. Head filled with ??????'s.

A noisy telephonic conference with 7 or 8 school friends for a couple of hours, on bed.

The end changes it all. I'm not aimless. I know what I'm going to do - Sleep.

To my Dad!

I still believe....
that it's the statue that knocks on my head really in Meenakshiamman temple when I tap on the drum in its hand

that promissory notes of treats at Arun icecreams or Supreme Hotel can make people work harder and with more enthusiasm

that bed-time serials with highly creative bgm can make a day complete

that God is everywhere, anytime for me

that gender bias in education is the stupidest thing conceived by people

that it's possible to have enormous fun and at the same time be responsible

that making funny faces and actions and noises can lift up low spirits

that books are the best companions

that tolerance is the biggest asset one can possess

that friends bring a lot of joy in life

that money is to be spent - not locked in.

that it is possible to get more than the money's worth by sharing it with others

that every cloud has a silver lining

that birthdays ought to be made special

that my Dad has a solution to everything....that Cricket will never be half as much fun as watching it with him.... that even so many miles apart I still share a strong bond with my Dad that makes me feel so secure and in place....And that there's never a wrong time to eat chicken ;D (makes mom mad!)

Happy Birthday, Daddy! Love you! :)

In and Out of the mire

The mire
of friendships and misunderstandings and reunions
of responsibilities and pressures and expectations
of dreams and hopes and goals
of plans and schedules and deadlines
of impressions and opinions and admirations
of every mundane, everyday thingy that you can think of...

Don't you feel stifled to be constantly stuck in that mire?? The joy of leaving it all behind for sometime is so enormous that I'd jump back happily into the mire, with renewed enthusiasm.... Sometimes things would get too much for me that I'd just walk away/ sleep on it/ do something fun - when I come back, the thoughts are - "Stupid me, why did I waste all that time worrying about this trivial little thing??!!?" and the actions that follow make more sense than before. Everything is/will be alright with the world and the people in it - it's only the angle of view that matters. The mire will be a mire unless I get out of it and find that it is actually a pool of joys and thrills that make life worth living. :)

Early twenties...

Everything I was taught as a child, make sense to me now.

The list of my favourite food keeps growing.. As a child, it seemed to me that I had very little choice for food in the world!!

I'm able to associate an incident with every proverb I know.

I can watch as many movies as I like. I totally forgot how my dad used to control that and the TV timings. LOL- he'll freak out at the frequency and amplitude now...

I grew up longing for an adventure- away from home. Now I'm counting down days to when I'll be back home for the holidays.

I used to love every food other than what my mom cooked.. Things are topsy-turvy now...

I used to dread the swimming classes at school. Wherefrom did I get this yearning to learn it now???

Yet, some things never change...

Getting better and better at procrastinating!!

Still got the question mark floating over my head....:D

Can't run to my parents - but I call and pour all my troubles onto them...

And finally as evident from this post - my chatterbox capacity is going strong as always! :)

Why?

Sogam....

Why do I feel stifled, like someone is pressing a pillow over my head all the time?
Why does the sky look so gloomy?
Why does the heater make this room so dry and me, dull?
Why do I have a whole lot of deadlines to meet the next few days?
Why do I know I have loads of work and still do nothing about it?
Why does this Orange strawberry banana juice taste like raw eggs?
Why haven't I had anything wholesome to eat, since morning?
Why aren't my friends taking any notice of me?
Why did the TA mark so many mistakes in my last assignment?
Why is there a class again in an hour?
Why do I feel sleepy?
What did I do to deserve all this????????

:D What WILL happen to me if I keep thinking that way? I'll die, seriously.....

I feel so refreshed! The dark evening sky looks mysterious and beautiful. The heater makes the room so snug. Someone else takes care of my schedule this week :). Yahoo- more stuff to learn (That did take some effort). This juice is so exotic! I feel so hungry, I'm going to spoil myself at the canteen. My friend is coming all the way down here this weekend!! Lots to argue with the TA - going to be interesting! Will meet my other classmates in an hour.... I'm feeling happy,lazy and at peace with the world. This is more than I could ever deserve. Thanks,God!

MEssy

There's a lot of fun and thrill in leading a messy life... Going neck-deep into trouble, learning for exams in the last minute, finishing assignments in the nick of time(or even after it!), just walking or jogging to a strange, unexplored place with no map or phone or even a watch (oh yeah, I do that often!).....

I love organising..... my thoughts, my things, my schedule, any little programs.... So much that I let them mess up properly first and then try to sort through the mess.... I love the drastic change it brings... I'd do it again and again just to feel the 'relief' it brings at the end...;)

I'd litter my room for weeks- not bother to clean it up despite protests from my parents (before) or my room-mates(now). And then I'd spend a whole day turning the trash out. Voila! - it's tidier than anyone could ever have imagined it could be!

I'd hog myself up for days - with no exercise at all. I'd wake up late, laze around feeling dull and out of focus for a week. And then I'd wake up early one morning, work out, sweat the laziness out of me and run out of the house, all charged up to face the day!

I'd fight with someone... Bring complex thoughts into my head... Make a mess of their feelings and mine... And then pop! goes something in my head. A phone call/a few words/ a gift - I'd do whatever I can to make up and it's all happy again....

You'd be mistaken if you think that to be unstable(!), wavering.... Looking back on my life, I think I'm steady with the changes...;)... To be more clear, little changes take me off the track but I am within the control limits - I'm back on the track soon.... The resulting graph is lovely, wiggly instead of the boring,straight one or the drastic,curved one.... It makes life more interesting!

Finding a question...!!??

I have never been at a loss, when it comes to asking questions. My nickname at hostel was 'kelvikuri' ('question mark' in Tamil) . When they said that Ph.D. is all about asking the right questions and finding out the answers, I was overjoyed - here is something that I'm good at and that which pays off... ;) Alas! I had overlooked the 'right' part.... It's not similar to asking crappy questions to irritate your friends and taking a cruel pleasure in taunting them, is it? And yeah- I can ask the right questions - if only I did not have to find the answers myself..... with 3 supervisors breathing down my neck, asking for reports and updates.... The toughest part is to make the question scientifically appealing to all the 3 of them.... Oh Gad! Ph.D. is Physically Depriving!

One-in-a-Thousand Movie

Chozhas and Pandyas still alive - vibrant with all their beliefs, ancient magic, warring to prove their supremacy?.. Chozhas waiting in Vietnam for 800 years for a messenger to take them to their own Kingdom?....I bow low to Selvaraghavan's imagination and his decent attempt to convince us of the same. I didn't expect the man to come up with such stuff after his previous realistic movies. Who would have thought he had 'No messages, only imagination' up his sleeve after the 'No messages, only realism' theme in 7G, Pudhupettai ? I'm both impressed by R.Ravindran's guts and also fervently hope that he doesn't go bankrupt.... I just had a vision of how he would have felt after watching the film for the first time and felt sorry for him.... (R.Ravindran is the producer of the movie!)

The actors - they must love Selvaraghavan to have put in 2 years of their career in this movie. I strongly doubt that the 2 years must be due to the number of retakes they had to film cos of the actors laughing helplessly in the middle of the scenes - Especially Parthiban - I had another fleeting vision of how Kamal Hassan would have reacted had Selvaraghavan offered the same role to him and made him do the dance moves, the scenes with Reema Sen... LOL...and the best scene in the whole movie - Parthiban's scene with Andrea - flawless timing!

Karthi is so adorable in the first half... Andrea makes an impact with solid, no-pretense acting.... Reema Sen - is so comfortable and brave in acting some scenes that leaves you uncomfortable..... The visual effects are bad.... Esp in the beginning when they near the island. Why did the soldiers with automatic weapons have to 'hold the line' against warriors with spears? Andrea knows to speak a tribal language but cannot understand or talk ancient Tamil? Then how did she read the scriptures in the previous scenes? When Chozhas know so much magic, why couldn't they use it in war against the guns? Parthiban held the enemy up in the air by holding her shadow; ppl disappear into sand when confronted by enemies-- why couldn't they win the war? The gladiator scene failed to impress-- it turned into a joke!

Had the movie ended in the first half, it'd have been a commercial hit, which it sadly is not meant to be... The second half would not have been so bad had it been made racier, giving us no time to muse over the glaring loopholes....

Where is 'Maalai neram'??? :( I'm sorely disappointed... BG score - I hated the unnecessarily soft,romantic notes during the fight between Parthiban and Reema..... 'On mela aasadhan'-- the video rocks!.. But the tune is similar to the Sarvam song 'adada vaa asathalam'-- Same source of inspiration for both Yuvan and G.V.? 'Thaai thindra mannae' was good... Hats off to the lyricist...

A period movie definitely needs more research, a stronger storyline... It should take the breath away from the audience - out of awe, not out of endless laughter.... But still, I LIKED IT! It's a brave attempt and I'm wondering - how did Selvaraghavan manage to make this when Kamal lacks producers' interests for 'Marudhanayagan' and 'Marmayogi'??? THAT itself is Selvaraghavan's victory-- he convinced a producer to make his random dream with haphazard scenes, come to life on the silver screen....!

Effect Change

I cannot start or stop a war. I don't want to. Wars come and go. People remain. I want to effect a Change in the people. I want the Change to last and spread. I want the person sitting next to me to Change. I'm hoping he'll pass it on. I'll ensure he does. 'Cos pushing this mighty mountain needs a lot of hands.

My previous post was not about the value of Money - it was about making use of it to achieve a purpose in life. I won't donate whatever I earn to the less privileged. That would not be achieving my purpose. I'd rather use whatever I have in excess to make a Change in the lives of one or two or a few kids. I'd help them seek their dream and teach them to pass on the Change. It won't break me. It would rather fill me with the happiness that I did my part in effecting the Change. I'd make my friends realize that happiness too. The Change would take place - slowly but surely.

The Change would break the illusion of materialistic happiness ( it wears away with time). The Change can be initiated only by those who have a purpose in life. When I have a purpose in life, I'd do whatever I can to keep me going towards it - Money would help me , moral support from family and friends, a healthy body.... The following is from a random site that explains what I mean by purpose :

"The psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has spent over 30 years studying the question of what makes human beings happy, and has also come to the conclusion that happiness is not, as he says, 'the result of good fortune or random chance,' or 'something that money can buy.' According to him, we come closest to experiencing true happiness when we experience the state of flow, which he defines as 'a state of concentration so focused that it amounts to complete absorption in activity.' When we're in flow we forget ourselves, forget our surroundings and the circumstances of our lives. The negative self-talk which normally fills our minds fades away and we feel that we are one with the activity we're performing. We experience flow when we have challenging and demanding tasks to do at work, when we play games, sports or musical instruments, or even when we become absorbed in household chores like mending a fence or doing the garden. And it's always a positive experience, generating a powerful sense of well-being. A chess player told Csikszentmihalyi, for example, that when he plays the game, 'I have a general sense of well-being, and a feeling of complete control over my world.' A dancer described to him the state of well-being she experiences during a performance: 'A strong relaxation and calmness comes over me. I have no worries of failure. What a powerful and warm feeling it is! I want to expand, to hug the world. I feel enormous power to effect something of grace and beauty.'"

Not everyone has the opportunity to realize this true happiness. When I feel that enormous power, I'd use it to effect the Change.

What is this Change? Behind all the 'happiness and love' thingy, it is to realize the plain truth - to survive. Man is a social animal. He just cannot survive by stamping on and ruling over the others of his kind. He also cannot sit back and watch others doing it. A war might help snuffing out the stupid ones. But it can never produce the Change. The Change has to be in the hearts of people. In the hearts of the common people - to make a happy society. In the hearts of the people in power - to do what they are commissioned to do - serve the people, punish the stupid ones and keep the society stable.

Why haven't I blogged till now?

I like to think that I can write well (atleast to keep ppl engaged)... I'm quite vocal about my thoughts too... Then why haven't I been able to keep up a blog till now ? (I'm puzzled!)... Is it because I like penning it down in a diary, privy to myself rather than typing it in a blog for the whole world to see?... May be.... Looking from another perspective, I like talking to the world about my life through photos... I have unusually huge albums on the networking sites and I pester my friends to see them all ( and comment on the photos!) .... I have never bothered about not blogging -- till I read a friend's blog a few minutes back(www.lifeandspice.wordpress.com)... She has been blogging regularly for 4 years!! And is still going strong! It's such a delight reading her old posts..... Made me regret for not having a blog... Let me start one before it's too late.. I don't want to regret on my deathbed for not having left a legacy-- totally useless, but atleast permanent ( hope so!).... So this is my resolution for 2010..

'Time, Stand Still!'--- The reason for this title is that I make the best out of every moment in my life... I'm often confused - am I really lucky that I have only good times or is my mind trained to think that way? ( aal izz well) Anyways, I cherish every second and hence wish all the time that time would stand still...